


america's pastime

by JenTheSweetie



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Baseball, First Kiss, M/M, bad jokes from Clint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenTheSweetie/pseuds/JenTheSweetie
Summary: The thing about the Annual Intra-Avengers Baseball Game was that it was always a little... contentious.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 71
Kudos: 347





	america's pastime

**Author's Note:**

> FRIENDS! I'm actually doing the thing! I'm using the quarantine to finish old fics! JOIN ME! 
> 
> (you don't need to know baseball to get this)

The thing about the Annual Intra-Avengers Baseball Game was that it was always a little... contentious.

First of all, there was the basic fact that the Avengers were, to put it mildly, a little competitive. They had all chosen to use their very specific set of skills to bash people's heads in for a living, and that wasn't the kind of decision generally made by well-adjusted people who enjoyed a quiet Friday night in with a book. And when they were on the battlefield, there was no such thing as "just a game": there was winning, and there was losing, and losing wasn't really an option. 

And then there were the rules. Not the rules of baseball - everyone pretty much agreed to the rules of baseball, except for Thor, who firmly refused to learn them and had eventually been booed off the field for running the bases backwards so many times that he decided to take on the role of commentator. No, the problem with the rules in an _Avengers_ game of baseball was that everyone had a different idea of what was and wasn't "fair play". 

"No flying," Clint said immediately.

"Man, without my suit I'm just a regular guy, the fuck am I supposed to do against the PED twins?" Sam said, gesturing at Steve and Bucky.

"If anybody says a _word_ about my arm, I'm outta here," Bucky said.

"If we're throwing out flying, then magic has to go too," Scott said. "And psychic powers. And whatever the thing in your head is, Vision - "

"Oh, but since your suit is based in quote-unquote _physics_ you get to play at eye level with the stadium lights?" Wanda said.

All of this to say that the very first game was a complete disaster and ended in a brawl that subsided only when Steve threatened to bench everyone from duty for a week, which he yelled despite being in a headlock by an apologetic but resolute Peter Parker. 

Eventually, they settled on playing baseball in as close to a "normal" way as possible, for a given value of normal, and they agreed to mix up the teams every year so nobody _always_ had to play against the Hulk, who hit a lot of home runs but also created a lot of work for the bat boy, or Natasha, who was so good at stealing second that there was ongoing debate about whether she should be officially included on the "powered" list. 

And she was about to do it _again._ Tony could see it coming a mile away: she was inching forward, then inching forward again, and Steve, bless his heart, was absolutely _terrible_ at keeping track of her, and just as he threw the ball she took off, and Tony had barely even caught the pitch and thrown it in Rhodey's direction before she slid into second.

"Aw, stealing, no," Clint groaned. 

"Not my fault your pitcher doesn't have his head in the game," Natasha said, brushing dust from her thigh.

And she was right, Tony knew. Steve _didn't_ have his head in the game: the opposing team's runs had been limited not because Steve was pitching a strong game but by dint of his being the actual peak of human perfection. He was throwing balls left and right, literally, but luckily even blindfolded Steve probably could have pitched a better game than half the MLB, which was probably why he was preemptively banned from three out of four professional sports leagues in North America. (The NHL kind of seemed to hope he'd enter the draft one day, just for the ratings). 

“And the Black Widow once again proves herself a competent thief!” Thor rumbled from the commentator’s box up behind home plate. “The score is six to five, with the Winter Soldier holding the bat.”

A hush fell over the game as Barnes swaggered up to the plate. Everybody liked it when Bucky came up to bat against Steve, because Bucky was the only player to whom Steve would reliably pitch a fastball, which was fair, because for a decent number of the players Steve’s fastball came with prescription drug commercial’s worth of potential side effects. 

Tony swapped out his standard catcher’s mitt for a gauntlet as Barnes swung his reinforced bat casually from one hand and adjusted his ballcap with the other. The rest of them all wore helmets, even the Hulk - not because he needed it, but because Tony’d designed one special and Bruce thought it was hilarious - but Bucky had argued that under official MLB rules he would have been grandfathered into the pre-helmet era, and anyway they’d all seen actual _buildings_ fall on him so they figured he could take it. 

Bucky kicked some dirt off home plate. “So what’s eating Steve?” 

Tony narrowed his eyes. “You’re his best friend. Shouldn’t you know?”

“Think you might be the expert this time, pal,” Bucky said, just casually enough that Tony froze. “Steve, we playing baseball or badminton? Gimme a real pitch, will ya?” 

Steve glared at him. Tony tensed, and before he could blink the ball was hitting the fence behind him. He glanced at his gauntlet; 148 MPH, but _way_ outside the strike zone. “Ball!” Coulson called from behind Tony. 

“A ball indeed! One that seemed reasonably slow and hittable to me, but then again, that is why Son of Coul is the master of the game and not yours truly,” Thor boomed. 

“Your eyes going bad, old man? I’m over here,” Bucky called. “Seriously, Stark, what’d you _do_?”

“Who said I did anything?” Tony muttered, throwing the ball back to Steve.

“Nobody had to,” Bucky said. 

Tony ignored him, and the pitch went wide left again, and came in at just 120 MPH, which by Steve’s standards was basically standing still.

“Ball!” Coulson said. 

“You wanna put a little something behind it, Rogers? My granny coulda hit that pitch,” Bucky crowed. He threw Tony a glance over his shoulder. “If I were you I’d talk to your pitcher, cause if he throws another one like that I’m gonna swing and I’m gonna hit it right outta the park and you’re gonna lose this game.” He winked. “Just a little friendly advice.”

“Friendly my ass,” Tony muttered.

But when he looked across home plate, he could tell that Steve… was about to throw another terrible pitch. Damn it. 

“That’s what I thought,” Bucky gloated as Tony pushed up his facemask and began the long, slow walk to the mound. 

Steve narrowed his eyes as he approached. “What’s wrong?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” Tony said. “You’re out here pitching like you just graduated from t-ball, what’s going on with you?”

“Are you serious right now?” Steve said disbelievingly. “Like, _actually_ serious?”

“Ah,” Tony said. “So this is about last night.”

“Of course this is about last night,” Steve said. “Forgive me for being a little off my game the day after one of my best friends decides to - ”

“Look,” Tony interrupted, “I’m sorry I made it weird, my bad, can we drop it now?”

“There appears to be a very serious conference going on in the center of the field,” Thor said over the loudspeaker. “Not that I doubt the strategic prowess of our leaders, but how much strategy can possibly go into throwing a small, entirely harmless ball at another person? If the ball was on _fire_ , perhaps - ” 

“No, we can’t drop it,” Steve said angrily. “I would have preferred to talk about it last night, but you turned around and _walked away_.”

“Because I got the message, okay? Loud and clear, no worries on that, so I’m never going to bring it up again and with a lot of time and maybe some really high quality drugs we can both eventually forget it ever happened, so let’s just finish up this inning and - ”

“What _message_? I didn’t send a message, I didn’t get a chance to say a _word_ \- ”

“Yeah, exactly, your silence said it all, Cap, I get it, it’s not me it’s you, or hey, maybe it’s me, that’s totally reasonable too - ”

“Just tell me one thing,” Steve said. “Did you mean it?”

“No, Steve, I told you I’m in love with you because Thor dared me to,” Tony said, throwing up his arms. “Jesus. Of course I meant it. I should have said it a long time ago but I blew it then and I blew it now and so it’s officially fully blown, can we get back to baseball? I don’t actually care if we win or lose, either way I have an excuse to spend the evening with a bottle of scotch but we have to finish before I can get to that part, so can we pick up the pace a little? Great, thanks.”

He tried to whirl back to home plate, but Steve grabbed his arm mid-whirl and totally ruined the dramatic effect. “What?” he snapped. “I don’t know about you, but I’d actually rather get back to baseball than continue this conversation, and you _know_ I don’t even like baseball that much - ”

And that’s when Steve yanked him forward, leaned down and kissed him. Tony was briefly aware that he was still wearing his facemask and his catcher’s glove and that terrible ugly vest that he wore to protect his fragile squishy human parts, and then all of that awareness completely left the building because _Steve was kissing him_ , and that was awesome.

Steve pulled back and grinned sheepishly. “I don’t care if we win or lose either.”

“That’s disappointing,” Tony said, trying to be cool even though he was about one second from turning into a puddle of goo at Steve’s feet. “Cause normally you’re pretty competitive, so I was kinda expecting you to be a little more focused on the game, you know?”

“I’m sorry, _you’re_ calling _me_ competitive?” Steve said. “You have some nerve - ”

And it was at that exact moment that they both noticed the complete and utter silence that had fallen over the field, a silence that was broken only when Scott Lang yelled, “Come on, guys, there’s no kissing in baseball!” 

Steve ducked his head and went a little red in the face which, oh no, that was _adorable_ , Tony wanted to make him do it again _so bad_ \- 

“Am I gonna get a pitch over here or what?” Bucky drawled impatiently, but when Tony looked back at him he was smirking so Tony figured he couldn’t be _that_ mad. “Pull it together, Stevie. I’m gonna get old standing here waiting for you to stop makin’ goo goo eyes at Stark.”

“You’re already old,” Steve said, and stepped back onto the mound. “We’ll talk later?”

“Yes,” Tony said, “definitely, whenever, any time, later is good, now would be better but considering we’re in the middle of an inning - ”

“Good,” Steve said, and Tony winked at him and jogged back to the plate.

“I could eject both of you for that, you know,” Coulson said, arching an eyebrow as Tony settled into position. 

“Could you? I’m not _super_ familiar with the rulebook but I’m pretty sure there’s nothing _specifically_ about making out at the mound.” 

“Figures we’d have to add in new rules just for you,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, wasn’t that a wonderful use of a time out,” Thor rumbled from the commentator’s box. “Steve, Tony, from the bottom of our hearts, we’re so happy to see you finally pull your heads out of your respective asses. Well done both of you. Now can we get back to baseball? Frankly we all know I’m just here for the afterparty, so if we wouldn’t mind proceeding? Thank you.”

"So here's a question," Clint called from shortstop. "Which one of you is pitching and which one of you is catching?"

There were several _thwaps_ as various Avengers took off their gloves and hurled them in Clint's direction. 

"Oh come on!" Clint yelled, ducking, "you _cannot_ be mad at me for that, it was _so obvious - "_


End file.
